What we have here, is a failure to quarterback.

QBs in Week 7 that had 4 total TDs: Mahomes, Allen...Minshew
QBs in Week 7 that outscored Herbert or Tua: Bagent, Ridder, Dobbs, Mac Jones, TYROD TAYLOR

Turns out all the 49ers needed me to do was slobber on them, and they shit the bed. Does it work in the reverse? Let's try. God my team is so good, nothing can stop me, I'm gonna shit on Jordan's doo doo #1 team with Tyson Frodo Baggins and the Pride of Saddleback.

Dolphins sucked, Bills sucked, Lions..well the Lions performed as expected.

Taylor Swift is the most interesting thing to happen to football this year, and it's not even close.

Fun fact: Tyrod Taylor is older than god and..wait for it...is younger than all of us. Yup, that's right. Tyrod Fucking Taylor is 34 years old. Put that in your artificial hip and smoke it.

Real footage of me setting my lineup

League Recap

Ugh, Jordan won again, Josh won again. The most points gap thinned with a less than #1 week from Scotty. David lost again, which frankly is what keeps me going. It's too fucking funny. I'd say who could possibly be as unlucky as him, but here I am having lost my #1 QB and my #1 RB, and the RB1 I traded for is on IR until Josh gets off dial up internet. So that shit ain't happening.

Last Week's MoTW Winner: Brett, my second loss, my picks: 3-3

This Week's Matchup of the Week: Me vs crippling depression. Spoilers: I'm losing.

Power Rankings

Team Notes:

Josh: Last 4 weeks Kamara and Etienne are #2 & #3 RBs by fantasy scoring. Check that off on my "things I hate fucking typing in 2023" bingo card.

Scott: see below

David: You're #3 in the power rankings but #1 in my heart.

Brett: You beat me in both Dynasty and ETFL, and I took that shit personally. At least I know you feel guilty about handing me my draft position.

Jordan: Maybe I can feel good about the fact that every year after the you've won I've been in the finals. So here's to next year.

Joe: TLaw comes home, and yet they still won. Gibbs got used? This LaPorta potty is starting to stink of success and it doesn't smell good to anyone but you.

Mike: Man, by every conceivable metric I can muster to try to prove you suck (which may or may not have been the inspiration to start this whole fucking blog in the first place) -- I can't. And I hate it.

Boyer: I wrote this whole article, and left your team blank to come back and write something funny. Then I hit publish and forgot, so this is what you get.

Will: First person to make me laugh with a note about my team and I'll trade you Bijan...for your RB1, QB1, WR1, and your 401k - by reading this article you accept the terms and conditions implicitly

Chu: I sent you so many offers for Taylor you were so worn down that all Scotty had to do was wink and buy you an Appletini.

This Week by the Numbers:

Highest Scorer:
Josh: 169 (nice...2 weeks)

Highest points in loss:
Scott: 133

Biggest blowout:
Josh over Boyer: +79 (2 weeks)

Overachiever (score, projection):
Josh: +39 (2 weeks)

Lowest Scorer:
Chu: 84 (3 weeks)

Lowest points in win:
Brett: 128

Narrow victory:
Brett over Will: +16~

Underperformer (score, projection):
Chu: -28

Overall Wins (if you played every team every week):
Reminder why this is important: This removes the luck of matchups from the standings. You can see where you actually would stand if the arbitrary schedule were removed and you played everyone.

Team points by Week:

This week's perfect lineup: