"I'm killing it in my PPIR league"
The all IR team is looking pretty 🔥atm.
QB: ARich
RB: Chubb
RB: 4chan
WR: JJ
WR: Diontae
WR: Mike Williams
TE: Dulcich
WRT: Conner
QWRT: Rodgers
Fields and Moore showed up. Big time. Brett's been a believer of this duo since 2003 so props to him for it finally paying off.
Jacksonville is the best football team...in North London. So far undefeated across the pond. Why they ever come home makes no sense to me.
Zack Moss big dicked Taylor's return, and Joe felt it in every hole. Still got a W though.
The AFC North seems to have a collective shared offensive brain cell, and none of them know how where it is. Garbage division.
Jared ELITEAF (tattoo'd on his shaft) Goff is making the case for MVP this season and it feels gross to say that. Mike sealed the Goff v ARich bet cause of the IR designation. GGs.
Tua, Tyreek, and 4Chan are the best trio in fantasy by a country redneck fucking mile. I'd smash them every week in DFS if I didn't have a gambling problem.
Jalen Hurts is going to "Brotherly Shove" his tush all the way to the Lombardi. Maybe Brett will benefit.
The 49ers are real. They clowned the shit out of the Cowboys making them look like a high school team. They have the best fucking RB in the NFL. The best fucking WR core in the NFL. The best fucking TE in the NFL. The best fucking defense in the NFL. Not to mention Brock "Don't Call Me Tom" Purdy throwing 4 tubbys just to piss everyone off. Watch out.
The Rams new 'ship of CooPuka NaKuppua is fun af to watch. So much for a rebuild year. They also get their first 1st round pick in 2024 since MOFUCKIN ELITE Goff in 2016. It's gonna be good. Rams House baby.
Fun fact: The top 3 single week scores of all time have happened in the last 2 seasons, and 2 have happened this year. Congrats Scott, Brett, & Joe in that order.
League Recap
Aside from Brett and Josh, this was a pretty awful week. Highest st. dev. and lowest median score of the season.
David being 2nd in points and 1-4 is objectively hilarious. The fantasy gods giveth and the gods taketh away. It's a good thing you're hoarding TEs and QBs you're never gonna start. 👍 Trying to trade with him is like trying to fuck a Mormon. You better have a blessing from the monks and a big ass ring or he won't even let you see a bra strap.
Mike picked up the pride of Saddleback College Emari Demarcado and blew the rest of his FAB. Maybe this guy will stay on his roster for more than a week. I do think he's legit though, so go Gauchos! ( I guess it's Bobcats now but I ain't fuckn woke. ⛑️🇺🇸)
Last Week's MoTW Winner: Josh, my first loss, my picks: 3-1
This Week's Matchup of the Week: Jordan (4-1) vs David (1-4)
Logic would say I should put Brett v Scott in this column, but we all know cause Jordan is playing David he's gonna go off, and I've been slobbering on Scott for a month now -- my jaw is tired.
David finally gets Ekeler back, and that's the only thing that matters for his roster.
Chase put his name back on the board last week and straight up carried Jordan.
Easy choice here, David's got the yips, go with Jordan.
Power Rankings
| Rank | Team | Change | Streak |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Scott | - | 4 |
| 2 | David | +1 | - |
| 3 | Josh | -1 | - |
| 4 | Brett | +6 | - |
| 5 | Jordan | - | 2 |
| 6 | Boyer | -2 | - |
| 7 | Will | +2 | - |
| 8 | Joe | -1 | - |
| 9 | Mike | -3 | - |
| 10 | Chu | -2 | - |
Team Notes:
Scott: First L. Shit sucks. 4chan going on IR boosts Mostert. Waddle/Tyreek is guaranteed to have one of them go off a week. Still the team to beat.
David: At least your -- sorry *you're -- #2 in something besides rankings of Galant children. 2️⃣
Josh: You took down the king and it cost you 4chan. I keep saying your team doesn't look scary and has no depth, and yet you're 4-1, still have health, and put up points. Turns out I can be wrong -- sometimes.
Brett: Call Brett the Jefferson's cause he's Movin' On Up. Tune in next week when I give a similarly outdated and unfunny reference.
Jordan: I don't get your team. Make it make sense to me. What does it mean? How does it work?
Boyer: I went out of my way to block any QBs and forced you to start Tannehill. Thank fuck it worked.
Will: ARich dead. Chubb dead. Purdy saving the team. 2 trades waiting to pay off. Make or break time. And I'm playing Josh. Yikers.
Joe: Two gifted wins. And one was from Mike. He did not give it willingly. LaPorta is the best rookie TE the league has seen for a while. Keep it up Dad.
Mike: It happened. JJ is out for min 4 weeks, St. Brown is dealing with injuries, bye weeks are here. Strap in buddy. You're in for lineup decision hell. Efficiency 📉.
Chu: If you win out, maybe. Taylor got cucked. Gotta change the name now too. I'd normally say that's a curse, but with the curses you're carrying, maybe it's a blessing.
This Week by the Numbers:
Highest Scorer:
Brett: 223.2 (2 weeks)
Highest points in loss:
David: 122.62
Biggest blowout:
Brett over David: +100.58
Overachiever (score, projection):
Brett: +96.78 (223.2, 126.42)
Lowest Scorer:
Chu: 98.46
Lowest points in win:
Joe: 120.08
Narrow victory:
Will over Boyer: +13.98
Underperformer (score, projection):
Boyer: -27.73 (117.8, 145.53)
Overall Wins (if you played every team every week):
Reminder why this is important: This removes the luck of matchups from the standings. You can see where you actually would stand if the arbitrary schedule were removed and you played everyone.
| # | Name | Wins | Losses |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | David | 32 | 13 |
| 2 | Scott | 28 | 17 |
| 3 | Josh | 25 | 20 |
| 4 | Brett | 24 | 21 |
| 5 | Boyer | 22 | 23 |
| 6 | Jordan | 21 | 24 |
| 7 | Will | 20 | 25 |
| 7 | Joe | 20 | 25 |
| 9 | Mike | 16 | 29 |
| 9 | Chu | 16 | 29 |
Team points by Week:
This week's perfect lineup:
| Pos | Name | Points | Owner |
|---|---|---|---|
| QB | Justin Fields | 35.34 | Brett |
| WR | DJ Moore | 51 (2nd all time) | Brett |
| WR | Jamaar Chase | 47.7 | Jordan |
| WR | Tyreek Hill | 31.1 | Scott |
| RB | Zack Moss | 35.5 | Joe |
| RB | Travis Etienne Jr. | 35.4 | Josh |
| TE | George Kittle | 26.2 | Jordan |
| WRT | Breece Hall | 29.9 | Brett |
| QWRT | Brock Purdy | 29.04 | Will |
| K | Greg Zuerlein | 17.4 | FA |
| DEF | Pittsburgh | 22 | FA |
| Total: | 360.58 |