Hide yo' knees, hide yo' ankles.
Woof. Hold on to your ligaments boys, we're in for a rough ride. Chubb, Saquon, Montgomery, Waddle, Richardson, Burrow, Davante all out ranging from season/career, to concussion protocol. If we weren't all so good at the RB lottery ticket game, i.e. both Kyren Williams and Jerome Ford picked up before they were relevant, the waivers would've been much more interesting this week.
The Giants comeback was one no one expected, and yet no one cared about. That team is going to be a nightmare to predict this year. The Broncos endgame Hail Mary followed by the failed 2pt conversion was objectively hilarious. Puka Nucua broke the record for receptions by a rookie, and I could not stop ejaculating. A couple of zeros from last week became heroes, most notably Drake London, Tyler Lockett, and Tee Higgins. AJ Brown got outscored again by Devonta Smith. Dalvin is cooked and got out yardaged on the ground by Zach Wilson. Brian Robinson freshly removed from being 50cented took a close range shot at Gibson's usage. And finally, the Houston Texans passing/receiving game looks to be the garbage time kings this year.
Fun fact: Mike has spent $63 on FAB acquisitions. Of that $63, the amount of FAB spent uncontested has been..$63.
Real Life MRI of Nick Chubb's Knee
Weekly Recap
A much better league average this week with all teams scoring above 110. Well played boys. No records were set this week, but I do want to note that Yahoo has wiped our league record book and we only have data from last year. Get your thank you's out cause without me being autistic and recording it all we would've lost it. We're fucking moving to Sleeper and I'm not taking votes.
Scott's Watson tried his best to lose the matchup against Joe on Monday night, but did just enough to make it a clutch MNF victory. My team also tried their best to lose to David with Chubb's knee being ripped from his body, but thank fuck Chubb did just enough before he died to get me the win. RIP homie, you'll sit in my IR as long as I can hold you.
Last Week's MoTW Winner: Josh, covered -7 spread, my picks: 1-0
This Week's Matchup of the Week: Will vs Scott
It's obligatory that the battle of the undefeateds makes the MoTW. I've certainly got my work cut out for me. With Waddle and Richardson in the concussion protocol, and losing my first round pick, I'm relying on my depth, which I feel pretty good about. But still, all things must go right for me to put the cooler on Scott's fiery streak.
Scott takes the advantage at almost every position except for RB1 -- Bijan vs Mixon. Love v Purdy could be interesting as the Saints vs Love could be tough matchup. The real showdown is the opposing defenses in the Jets vs Pats in the morning games. I think Scott takes it this week, and I'm giving him a wide spread at -10 due to my injuries at the time of this writing. But I'll see you again in week 12 for my revenge game.
Power Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points | Change | Rank Streak |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Scott | 41.67 | +1 | - |
| 2 | Josh | 38.67 | -1 | - |
| 3 | Will | 31.67 | +4 | - |
| 3 | Boyer | 31.67 | +4 | - |
| 3 | David | 31.67 | - | 2 |
| 6 | Joe | 23.33 | - | 2 |
| 6 | Mike | 23.33 | -3 | - |
| 8 | Brett | 21.67 | -5 | - |
| 9 | Jordan | 20 | - | 2 |
| 10 | Chu | 15.33 | - | 3 |
Team Notes:
Scott: Only bad thing I can say is that Watson sucks. Other than that this team deserves #1 atm. Great receivers, good RBs, consistent scores, good efficiency, and probably going to get to 3-0. Aim for Scott boys.
Josh: Josh almost had the best rookie receiver till Fluka Nacua came on the scene. RBs are okay, but your bench still sucks. You're riding high right now, but let's see how you handle the byes.
Will: Bijan and Richardson have paid off thank football jesus. I felt pretty untouchable till Chubb went down. Feel good about my depth, and don't need to let just any Scott or Boyer into my trade bussy just cause I'm a little fucked up. Buy me a drink first boys, this shit ain't free.
Boyer: This year's boom or bust team? You're certainly busting at the moment cause Ford is relevant. Burrow's health is a little concerning. Swift's performance was great, but I don't trust the Eagles to continue that usage, despite it probably being the right move.
David: Despite the 0-2 start you're 3rd in points, and 2nd in overall wins. It's definitely not over, but this is what we call karma. You don't just waltz into this league and dominate. We wouldn't allow it. Plus we all agreed if you win again we're just folding the league. No one's ever done back to back wins and we're not starting now.
Joe: Joe's got more Tanks on his team than a German Blitzkrieg. His team certainly smells like a LaPorta Potty for the time being. Gibbs with the potential for more usage could be great for you, but the Lions do love to fuck with their "lead" beak for the lols. The youth on your team is your biggest strength and your biggest downfall.
Mike: Is there an OceanGate submersible craft in your pocket? Cause this team is imploding. The problem with the Zero RB strat is -- 1) You have to draft good RBs, which you didn't, and 2) WRs are volatile as fuck. St. Brown is a little banged up, and AJ Brown hasn't whined hard enough for targets yet. Maybe you can fight the current and do well with - checks notes - Tony Jones Jr. and Matt Breida? Oh god.
Brett: Tough loss with your bench going off. Those weeks are the worst. You're on a revenge week against Mike. Pollard/Robinson might pay off to be the best RB duo in the league. As long Arthur Smith lets Ridder throw, London could eat in garbage time. Fields is hit or miss. And Hurts is your stallion. Ride that baby through the tough times.
Jordan: On paper this is a good team. They just gotta all click at the same time. Except for Najee -- he fuckin sucks. He's got a good stretch of matchups, and you've got a chance to get a lil win streak going against Joe. Jackson getting Mandrews back helped a ton, and he's got a great matchup this week. Luckily for you you're averaging 103pts/week.
Chu: Chu might have 2 of the best garbage time QBs in Stroud and Jones. Lamb is gonna eat, McCaffrey is gonna eat, although Shanahan did say something about reducing his usage. Getting a win off Josh would be huge this week, and you've got the potential to do it. I always remind everyone that Joe won 10 games in a row after going 1-3 and won the Kelly, so it ain't over by a longshot.
This Week by the Numbers:
Highest Scorer:
Boyer: 180.34
Highest points in loss:
David: 168.82 - 2 Weeks
Biggest blowout:
Boyer over Chu: +42.4
Overachiever (score, projection):
Boyer: +54.01 (180.34, 126.33)
Lowest Scorer:
Mike: 110.34
Lowest points in win:
Jordan: 124.40
Narrow victory:
Will over David: +5.42 - 2 Weeks
Underperformer (score, projection):
Jordan: -22.34 (111.88, 134.42)
Overall Wins (if you played every team every week):
Reminder why this is important: This removes the luck of matchups from the standings. You can see where you actually would stand if the arbitrary schedule were removed and you played everyone.
| # | Name | Wins | Losses |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Scott | 15 | 3 |
| 2 | David | 13 | 5 |
| 3 | Boyer | 12 | 6 |
| 3 | Josh | 11 | 7 |
| 5 | Will | 10 | 8 |
| 6 | Joe | 8 | 10 |
| 6 | Mike | 7 | 11 |
| 6 | Brett | 6 | 12 |
| 9 | Chu | 6 | 12 |
| 10 | Jordan | 2 | 16 |
This Week's Lineup Efficiency:
| # | Name | % | Optimal | Actual | Point Share |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Josh | 97 | 130.2 | 126.3 | 9.03% |
| 2 | Mike | 95.66 | 115.34 | 110.34 | 7.89% |
| 3 | Jordan | 93.53 | 133 | 124.4 | 8.89% |
| 4 | Joe | 89.09 | 149.18 | 132.9 | 9.5% |
| 5 | Boyer | 88 | 204.94 | 180.34 | 12.89% |
| 6 | Chu | 85.41 | 161.5 | 137.94 | 9.86% |
| 7 | Will | 84.7 | 198.62 | 168.24 | 12.02% |
| 8 | Scott | 82.92 | 173.92 | 144.22 | 10.31% |
| 9 | David | 81.11 | 200.62 | 168.72 | 11.63% |
| 10 | Brett | 75.3 | 148.58 | 111.88 | 8% |
Team points by Week:
This week's perfect lineup:
| Pos | Name | Points | Owner |
|---|---|---|---|
| QB | Kirk Cousins | 30.28 | David |
| WR | Mike Evans | 29.1 | David |
| WR | Keenan Allen | 28.1 | David |
| WR | Nico Collins | 25.1 | Will |
| RB | D'Andre Swift | 28.6 | Boyer |
| RB | Brian Robinson | 27.9 | Brett |
| TE | TJ Hockenson | 22.1 | Boyer |
| WRT | Raheem Mostert | 26.2 | Scott |
| QWRT | Daniel Jones | 29.32 | Chu |
| K | Brandon Aubrey | 17.7 | FA |
| DEF | Pittsburgh | 28 | Boyer |
| Total: | 304.94 |
The #1 Point scoring player through 2 weeks is the Dallas Cowboys Defense.
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