I may not have a chance, but I can stop one of you.

Chu and I agreed to go full-send and make our last push to head to the playoffs. It may or may not work out for one or both of us, but we've got a long journey to go -- mine being longer than Chu's (in more ways than one 😉). At least Chu has his Padres to root for in the...oh yeah...nvm. Maybe he could root for the San Diego Charg....oh..that's right. Well, at least your most dependable QB is Daniel Jones...👀.

Weekly Recap

Copy and paste "what a shit week". This week was lower scoring on average than last week, and Mike was the top scorer again. My team would've beaten 4 of you had the matchups been different. Let me repeat that. FOUR OF YOU WOULD'VE LOST TO ME. Are we gonna let Mike run it up from the bottom and take us down..dare I say to Browntown? Please god don't let it happen.

The injury reaper took the lives of Mike Williams, Breece Hall, and DK Metcalf. And, I guess Matt Ryan but it's not like he was completing any passes anyway. To the wire you go 4 time pro bowl selection.

Last week worked out in his favor, and Josh now sits atop the rest. He's still ~130pts behind Joe, and that's still hilarious. He's on a 3 game win streak, and looks to continue it against Boyer this week, although bye weeks play a major factor.

Brett is also quietly putting up a streak at 4 games in a row. Him and David have a great looking matchup with only .39 points separating their projections at the time of this writing.

Only 2 wins separate 8th and 1st place, so seeds and playoffs are very much up in the air. Now is the time to make moves. And, with the trade deadline about 3 weeks out, it's time to solid up.

This Week's Matchup of the Week: David v Brett
David threw up a shit show last week, and still was gifted a win from Jordan. Brady and the Bucs cost me $1000 and still somehow got David a win (9/10 leg parlay correct except the Bucs). That's fucking bullshit. Chubb looks to get right on Primetime this week, and the Brady/Godwin/Evans trio faces off against Baltimore on Thursday. Absolutely nothing can go wrong with this matchup.

Did anyone see Kyler Murray basically call Kingsbury an asshole to his face with all the short-man energy he could muster cause Kingsbury called a running play to Benjamin on 3rd and Goal? PJ seems to like DJ, so maybe this 1 remaining Moore is worth it finally. If Murray and Smith play well, and Barkley does what Barkley has been doing, I think you take this.

Power Rankings

Team Notes:

Joe: Take Mike down please. The ego is really starting to inflate. You've done well not responding to his bait in our group thread, so keep it up and silently assassinate him with your 3rd place most points please. I did not have Josh Jacobs being a top 5 RB this season, and outscoring Christian McCaffrey, Derrick Henry, Aaron Jones, and my new RB Jonathan Taylor. Another fucked up bingo square on the board.

Josh: I keep telling you to lose to restore order to the world, and you keep winning. So, you know what? Keep winning, beat the crap out of Boyer, I hope you make him pay. I can't stand the Chiefs living here, but I guess I respect Mahomes. This city turns football into a cult, and they're more into the Chiefs than they are into churches -- a city which averages 20 churches per 5 square miles.

Jordan: McCaffrey's new team had him on a pitch count-ish, so I'd expect his production to return this week. Unless tradition hits and he falls victim to the 49ers curse, and Jeff Wilson returns. Hurts is back this week, and my long lost lover Gabe Davis is playing in prime time. You're playing Chu so it probably won't matter either way, unless you shit the bed again.

Mike: Ugh, I hate Browntown. Why did I buy a ticket here? Everything smells like shit and it's full of racially ambiguous people yelling pseudo-legal jargon and baiting Joe into arguments by shouting broad generalizations about Libertarians and Florida. What an awful place. But, hey it's got 0% income tax so maybe Joe will move here next after your matchup this week. Mike is printing the ticket as we speak.

David: Boy you shit the bed nicely last week and still got lucky. You've got your full crop of RBs back this week, so that may help, but I'm not counting on it against Brett. Brady is likely to play in thunderstorms, and Giselle put a Brazillian pagan curse on him in the divorce and now he's overthrowing Mike Evans like he's being paid to do that exactly. Tua's back for real this week though. Love that kid.

Brett: You've been at, or just below, the average weekly score for about 4 weeks now, and you're on a 4 game win streak. You've got one Moore remaining, and PJ seems to like him. You scored with Foreman taking over McCaffrey in Carolina, hopefully that holds out for you. David isn't going to make it easy to make it a 5 win streak this week, but I believe somehow you'll scrape by.

Scott: You've been falling in the rankings since Week 4, but you've got a chance to right the ship against me this week. I'll happily play spoiler in my bid to go 6-1 to end the season. Pollard may end up taking the bulk this week, and he's more than capable of handling 20+. Allen back in the fold is always scary to match up against. Swift coming back is great for you, and this is basically a gimmie game if I'm being honest.

Chu: A desperation trade is a storyline I definitely relate to. You're not in a supremely terrible position, you only have to go 5-2 to end the season. Your receivers got very scary. And I'll be totally honest, I could not wait to get Najee the fuck off my team. Good luck with his 3.3 YPC on 14 attempts/game.

Boyer: Any more prop bets this week? Daddy needs some more cash. Brett nailed the Jets RB situation, so please refer to the meme he sent earlier for the joke I would've stolen.

Will:

This Week by the Numbers:

Highest points in loss:
Chu: 126.28 (2nd week)

Biggest blowout:
Mike over Will: +37.96 (2nd week)

Overachiever (score, projection):
Mike: +26.3 (155.26, 128.96) (2nd wk)

Lowest points in win:
Brett: 106.08

Narrow victory:
Brett over Scott: +2.14

Underperformer (score, projection):
Jordan: -40.74 (88.3, 129.04) (2nd wk)

Overall Wins (if you played every team every week):
Reminder why this is important: This removes the luck of matchups from the standings. You can see where you actually would stand if the arbitrary schedule were removed and you played everyone.

This Week's Lineup Efficiency (new point share column):
Mike just tied Jordan for 2nd highest weekly point share and it happened in just 2 weeks. Be better guys.

Team points by Week:

This week's perfect lineup:

Everyone do me a favor an lose this week. Just give me one.