See ya next year homies.

Is it just a weird season? Or, does it feel like about every year by the end of Week 6 we're saying, "wow what a weird season." I think that's just the NFL. Trends are hard to establish when there's only 17 games played in a season. NFL teams don't really sit on being awful for very long. I mean, let's take 2 "New York" teams for example. The New Jersey Football Giants are 5-1, and the New Jersey Jets are 4-2. The Giants can't keep a single receiver healthy, but none of that matters as long as Saquon doesn't break. And the Jets...what the fuck is happening with the Jets?

I smell a "ETFL Teams as 2022 NFL Teams" post making a comeback this year, and maybe soon. One of you shares a first letter with two of the teams I mentioned above. I definitely would relate one of you to one of them, but good luck guessing since I could be talking about either Jordan, Josh, or Joe.

I feel like calling my season over at 1-5, but it's not impossible for me to make the playoffs. Highly improbable, but not impossible. But, to be more than honest, the thing that keeps me going is having the chance to spoil one of you from getting what you want. Watch out, I might just take your last breath.

Weekly Recap

What a shit week. You know it's bad when Mike is our top scorer. It was by far our lowest scoring week so far. The average score was 122 pts. Scoring exactly the average would've beaten 6/10 teams. That's pitiful.

Cold weather is starting to creep in. At least out here in the Midwest it is. We had a frost warning yesterday and it dropped to 17 deg with the windchill. That generally means better running backs (i.e. Ice King Henry), more wind (more dropped passes), and potential snow games. Winter is coming.

Yahoo also showed they are a shit company being sucked dry for every last dollar they can milk out of us degenerate gamblers. There's no reason a bug like the one that cropped up should've happened. It got fixed in a reasonable amount of time, but now I'm likely going to be manually tallying my scores just to make sure my reflects what I actually scored. All in for moving to Sleeper?

This Week's Matchup of the Week: Chu v Josh
Josh has the opportunity to take over 1st place if the matchups work out in his favor. Chu has the power to play spoiler, and could definitely use a win to make a stronger bid for the playoffs. He's had a rough start to the season, dropping from 5th to 8th in the power rankings since week 1. Like me, he probably spends too much of his time playing the ETFL analysis game instead of focusing on the game itself. But it's just so much fun!

Josh on the other hand, is 3rd in average points, 3rd in overall wins, and has climbed to the top of the power rankings this week (spoiler). I really wouldn't have predicted that he'd be in this position, but as a note to the weirdness of this season -- Aaron Rodgers is being outscored in fantasy points by Carson Wentz, Marcus Mariota, Daniel Jones, and Geno Smith. If you had that on your 2022 NFL Bingo card mark it off.

Power Rankings

Everyone changed this week...except for me.

Team Notes:

Josh: A win is a win is a win. You broke tradition and are now 2 games above .500. If you wouldn't mind correcting that so the laws of nature restore themselves that would be fantastic. We're facing a global economic collapse, the Giants are 5-1, and a billion snow crabs just disappeared and no one knows why. For the good of humanity Josh please lose.

Jordan: Couldn't even cheat your way to a win. Shame on you. It's gonna be a rough week for you. Jacoby Smoked Brisket as your QB1 and starting Alec Pierce as your QB2. Definitely not a must win, but wouldn't hurt if you did. I'd side bet you that Brett Maher outscores Latavius Murray. Not responding to this team note specifically implies your consent to give me 100:1 and I bet risk free.

Joe: Do you even read these? Or did hurricane Ian wipe out all your internet and power and you've been surviving off dog and homeless people for the past few weeks and one of those homeless people was on something funky and now your climbing a telephone pole and talking to god? Send "gerfloogan" in the group chat if you're alive.

Brett: I tried to curse you last week. In fact I've tried to curse all of you in our matchups this season. It ain't working. You're perfectly above average. It just sucks that Wilson can't even see Sutton on the field, DJ Moore is somehow even more invisible, and you're starting Eno Benjamin. Brett is sitting there wishing we're back in Covid times when he dominated. Just add a little chaos.

David: What a garbage ass week. I mean.. I outscored you. If I had Boyer's luck I would've been matched up against you. Brady is too busy trying to ruin his marriage to the hottest piece of ass he's ever had to show up and practice, Chubb & Henry are literally carrying your team, and Tua (if he hasn't suffered permanent brain damage) is looking to make a return. You've got a good matchup on the table against Jordan, so good luck.

Scott: Dewey Defeats Truman. That was gold. You've slid down from 4th to 6th since Week 4 in the power rankings. and are slummin' it down here with us >.500's. Russ fuckin sucks. You're missing Allen real hard this week. I missed hard last week starting Slayton over Wan'Dale. I just can't get behind his name..especially when you're starting him next to Rondale. Gross. Definitely you're lowest projection of the season. Probably gonna take an L.

Mike: You finally separated yourself from me. And not in a small way. No longer can I refer to "Mike and I as the soggy bottom boys..." Is it that start of something good? Nuk comes off his suspension, Dak comes back from injury, and Brian Robinson actually looks like he shook the lead off and got his legs underneath him again. Yes..that was on purpose. (Read ledd not leed).

Chu: Taylor is back, CeeDee gets Dak back, Kenny Walker Blue Label showed to be the best $0 pickup of the season, and you're in a spot to smash Josh. Not a bad way to turn it around. For some reason you're keeping the Rams on your bench who are 17th in scoring on the season. I'm guessing the intent is to manipulate yourself into one of those quadrants you wrote about a couple weeks ago obviously.

Boyer: You might start Bailey Zappe this week and I don't think it's a bad move. Somehow your luck has to run out right? You're averaging ~114 points a week and you somehow got 3 of the 11 matchups you would've won out of a possible 54 combinations in the schedule. Herbert looks like he's playing Hurt..bert, and Zach Wilson sucks. You have 3 Jets on your team, which used to be a bad idea but they're 4-2. I don't even get this game anymore. Keep running it though, it's going well.

Will: I finally may get Allen back since Week 1. Dameon Pierce was given a "20+ carries" nod from coach Lovie Smith, but at least I get The Sun God back this week. Elite QB throwing to Elite Receiver. If you told me in the preseason that by Week 6 I'd be starting Jared Goff and Daniel Jones I'd've said "kill me now." All I have to do is win out, and I'm good. It starts this week...maybe.

This Week by the Numbers:

Highest points in loss:
Chu: 137.4

Biggest blowout:
Mike over Boyer: +56.26

Overachiever (score, projection):
Mike: +55.06 (183.82, 128.76)

Lowest points in win:
Josh: 115.08

Narrow victory:
Scott over Jordan: +0.44

Underperformer (score, projection):
David: -61.37 (74.04, 135.41)

Overall Wins (if you played every team every week):
Reminder why this is important: This removes the luck of matchups from the standings. You can see where you actually would stand if the arbitrary schedule were removed and you played everyone.

This Week's Lineup Efficiency (new point share column):
That's fuckin right, I got 100% efficiency bitches. And it totally mattered...with a less than 8% point share. At least I wasn't 6% like David

Team points by Week:

This week's perfect lineup:

Good luck in Week 7 boys! Redzone Watch party again on Sunday for real this time.