I hate this game.

Just when you get the slightest amount of hope in fantasy football, it all comes crashing down on you. I find every year I have some positional gaping hole in my lineup that can't seem to be fixed no matter what I do about it. The following year, I try to fix that hole in my draft, and end up overcompensating, and then lose out on another position.

This year, for me at least, that position is QB. There's a wide margin between the top 5 elite QBs and the rest of the trash the league throws out there every week. In my sadness, and inspired by a recent trip to Las Vegas, I thought I'd try my luck and put a longshot parlay on the line to inject some hope back into my season.

This parlay hit on 8/9 legs...and was half a yard short of turning $50 into $1700. Fuck Clyde Edwards Helaire. Fuck him in his stupid underweight asshole. They gave the TD to him, then took it away. I'm so mad. Anyway, for the rest of you degenerate fucks, here's what happened this week.

Weekly Recap

Some of us won and some of us lost. Joe is in 7th place and it's fucking funny. Josh scored big on Mahomes/Kelce, and still only put up 170. David popped up to 2nd, and Scott dropped down to 4th. Mike and I are...I don't wanna say out of it...but it's getting real close. Him losing Penny was a big blow, and for some reason Chu already had Ken Walker. Mike and I both have to go 7-3 from here to even get close to having a chance at the playoffs. What a week.

Byes start this week, so the wire is about to get very interesting. I can't wait to roll out Daniel Jones and Matt Stafford. Watch out Brett, cause here I come.

This Week's Matchup of the Week: David v Josh
This game is important to the rankings and it all depends on Jordan losing and David winning. If that happens, and David outscores Jordan by 11pts, he'll take over 1st place. I told y'all to watch out for him creeping up the standings, and here's his chance. He's currently averaging 147pts/match which is 3rd in the league. Josh is no slouch either, carried heavily by his QB/TE combo. But, as we all know, it goes against the laws of nature to have Josh be above .500, so he will lose this week and order will be restored at 3-3.

Power Rankings

Added a Rank Streak column which shows how many weeks you've been at a ranking only if it's more than 1 week.

Team Notes:

Jordan: You couldn't have planned that trade any better. Gabe has a career game on 4 catches, Goff shits the bed, and Bateman didn't even play. Oh and I sat Wilson. You're on a hot streak, just keep riding it.

Joe: Your depth is catching up with you. Jackson has a floor game, and outside of Kupp being Kupp, and some awesome RB performances, including Rhamondre getting sole control of the NE backfield, this was a shitty week. But you're playing Chu this week, so call it a get right game.

David: I figured it out. All your team boils down to is Chubb, Cook, Henry. How the fuck do we keep letting him score on 3 top RBs? Guys..we owe it to ourselves to be better than this. If we take that away from him, then all he has is the entirety of the TB offense and Buffalo D, oh and I guess Taysom Hill, but good luck starting him when he has 3 rushing TDs and a passing TD again.

Josh: 4DPTDS4DPTDS4DPTDS4DPTDS4DPTDS4DPTDS4DPTDS4DPTDS

Scott: It was a good week, but Russell Wilson fucking sucks. That Denver/Indy game was one of the worst games I've ever seen in my life, and I lost money on it. Earlier in the season Scott offered to take the other side of my bets so I don't have to drive over to the Kansas side to place them. I don't think he was doing this as a friend -- I think he saw an investment opportunity. Smart man Scott.

Brett: Well, you played Mike. So good on you. Geno Smith...yup..Geno Smith was the highest scorer on your lineup minus one 2pt from Jefferson. I'm mad cause you outbid me for him. What a joke of a season. But, you're playing me, so things are looking up.

Chu: Matt Ryan fucking sucks. Higgins really fucked you over, that sucked. Fournette looked amazing. You just dropped your RB2 Daniel Carlson. Joe's got a "get right" game against you this week. It would be real funny if you won. Do so for the comedy Chu, we all need it.

Boyer: It's garbage v garbage this week when Boyer plays Mike. Nobody cares about this game. It's not a must win for you because of 2 lucky wins earlier this season, but a win wouldn't hurt. Pitts might be a bigger bust than my Najee, and that's saying a lot.

Mike: Yikes. 0RB is a bold strat and it's not paying off. But, what do I know, I went Hero RB and it's still not paying off. I guess it only pays off if you're David. Maybe we should all convert to Judaism. Although that's never worked for Josh. You and I are in must win mode, and you're playing Boyer so you got a chance.

Will: I leave an average of ~36 points on my bench every week. I can't fuckin figure it out. Only Scott is worse leaving ~40pts/wk on his bench, but that's because of 1 week. Brett I got nothing to lose, I'm coming at ya.

This Week by the Numbers:

Highest points in loss:
Scott: 144.26

Biggest blowout:
Jordan over Will: +56.26

Overachiever (score, projection):
Josh: +32.29 (176.28, 143.99)

Lowest points in win:
Boyer: 126.46

Narrow victory:
Boyer over Chu: +13.42

Underperformer (score, projection):
Mike: -55.21 (135.25, 80.04)

Overall Wins (if you played every team every week):

This Week's Lineup Efficiency (new point share column):

Team points by Week:

This week's perfect lineup:

Good luck in Week 6 boys! Redzone Watch party again on Sunday.